Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
