I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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