I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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