please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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