i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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