STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
