So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I FOUND THE LEGS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
