Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
