Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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