I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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