I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
