we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize