Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
