Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
