The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
