READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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