Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
