There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
