where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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