he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
