think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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