She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
