She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
