I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
