I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
