well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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