Sry I called you an 8
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
