apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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