I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
