You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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