My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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