Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am one with the molecules
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
