This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
