piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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