Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
