im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
