I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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