Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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