he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
false alarm, still single
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
