I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
