Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i believe in u and ur pee
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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