the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Randomize
