SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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