Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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