Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
