I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
