To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
