I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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