Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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