did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize