I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Pooping to opera.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
