It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
