and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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