I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
