The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
