Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
