shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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