I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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