I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize