all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
