Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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