with your own penis?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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