youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
