did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
