2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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