South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize